Navigating shame is HARD no matter what but it's way harder if you don't know how to identify it in your body, or say it out loud to another person.
Here are the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state..
1. Acknowledge their shame feelings
2. Buffer those feelings by being calm and present
3. Connect with them in an authentic human way that helps them understand they are worthy and not alone in whatever human thing they did or didn't do to trigger those feelings...
.webp){kind=avatar}
Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
%402x.svg){kind=icon}