When we say "use your words" during an emotional moment, we are trying to help our children come to a place of regulation. Unfortunately we are using a tool that they cannot access at that moment.
The reason they are not using their words, is because the language centers of the brain are being flooded with reactionary neurochemistry. Which means that hearing instructions via language isn't going to work either.
Instead, communicate with your non-verbal presence so that your child can FEEL your support to help their brain regain a sense of calm and connectedness.
After the emotional flooding has subsided and their thinking brain is above water again, they will be much more capable of using their words and helping you understand what was happening for them.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
.webp){kind=avatar}
The video shares a parenting tip inspired by dogs and encourages viewers to create a culture of connection with their family in the new year.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn the benefits of playing make believe with your kids, how it helps their brains and your bond with them, and get fun ideas for make believe scenarios to try, including playing wild animals on the way to lunch and defending a castle against stinky underwear, in this insightful video.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}