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Kindness is something we learn in proximity to others. It is receiving empathy that makes giving empathy intuitive, not having our other responses shamed.
Just like we give children the opportunity to learn math and reading and don't expect it to make sense overnight or after one instruction, we can give children the developmental space they need to learn what kindness feels like and what a great thing it truly is.
P.S. neurodivergent children may look less "kind" or like they are struggling to learn it because their brains are focusing differently and they need specific learning tools. If you are doing this well and it's not working, might be worth seeking an evaluation thru your school etc.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
In this video, learn why it's important for parents who grew up with trauma or without secure attachment to be mindful of not overcorrecting their kids, and how to give themselves space to process their past pains so they can accurately meet their child's needs.