It is difficult to take the time to process and heal your childhood stories, and on top of that it can also feel difficult to believe it is necessary and not navel gazing.
But it IS necessary work if you want to raise children who are securely attached to you. The attachment research shows that when we reflect on our early relationships with our caregivers and process through the emotions related to those experiences, we clear the past insecurity to make way for present secure ways of relating.
When you care for your younger traumas or disconnections, you are also caring for your children.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
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