The forgiveness process after someone has abused you is not about reconciling yourself back to them, or to a compassionate idea of them.
It's about untethering yourself from the abuse and it's impact on you and reconciling yourself back to yourself.
If you feel bitter and resentful it is likely because you haven't fully forgiven yourself for being powerless. Not because you haven't found deep compassion for your abuser.
Grieve, acknowledge, release and remember who you are instead of trying to understand the person who abused you. That's their job.
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In this video, we learn about the immense responsibility projected onto victims in abusive relationships and how trying to heal the abuser can betray one's own healing.
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In this video, discover the difference between despair tears and grief tears, and how allowing yourself to grieve with caring others can lead to emotional healing and the ability to move forward from trauma and loss.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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