Grief is disorienting for adults, and we have fully formed prefrontal lobes. For kids it is impossible to process directly.
Instead it comes out sideways and in the indescribable feelings of lostness and powerlessness.
Kids in grief and transition and change are often more whiney or tantrum prone or angry. They are feeling the grief but without the capacity to link it to the narrative.
When a kid is acting out more than normal, reach out instead of clamping down, you might be surprised how much sense their feelings make when put into context.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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