Grief is disorienting for adults, and we have fully formed prefrontal lobes. For kids it is impossible to process directly.
Instead it comes out sideways and in the indescribable feelings of lostness and powerlessness.
Kids in grief and transition and change are often more whiney or tantrum prone or angry. They are feeling the grief but without the capacity to link it to the narrative.
When a kid is acting out more than normal, reach out instead of clamping down, you might be surprised how much sense their feelings make when put into context.
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This video offers guidance on how parents can help their kids learn about conflict resolution through setting boundaries and offering compassion towards both parties, emphasizing the importance of safety and boundaries, effective communication, and moving to repair in conflict situations.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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