The heart of a person with an avoidant attachment style isn't "I don't want to be close"...it's "I don't want to burden you with my needs and emotions".
So if someone you love is avoidant, be faithful to show up in their small stuff and remind them how honored you feel to do so. They are so scared their needs will push you away so take time to show them that the opposite is actually true.
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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