If you find yourself constantly insecure in your romantic relationship (or past relationships) always scanning your partner(s) to get reassurance that they still care about you and are committed to you, there are two most likely reasons ..
The first? The person you're with isn't right for you. They don't have the emotional care or attunement or predictability you need to feel securely connected. Solution? You'll likely need to move on.
The second? You have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
You grew up with unpredictable caregivers so your nervous system is always waiting for the other show to drop.
You became a honey badger always on the look out for more honey to feel safe (despite actually having a storehouse of honey).
Solution? Put in the work to start to internalize the love you have...start to separate what you felt as a child from what you now know as an adult (you deserve predictable love and care!!)
Good luck out there Honey Badgers, you got this!
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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In this video, you'll learn about the challenges that couples face in their attachment when having children, and the importance of understanding and valuing the labor of the partner who cares for the children at home, as childcare is also work.
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