If you find yourself constantly insecure in your romantic relationship (or past relationships) always scanning your partner(s) to get reassurance that they still care about you and are committed to you, there are two most likely reasons ..
The first? The person you're with isn't right for you. They don't have the emotional care or attunement or predictability you need to feel securely connected. Solution? You'll likely need to move on.
The second? You have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
You grew up with unpredictable caregivers so your nervous system is always waiting for the other show to drop.
You became a honey badger always on the look out for more honey to feel safe (despite actually having a storehouse of honey).
Solution? Put in the work to start to internalize the love you have...start to separate what you felt as a child from what you now know as an adult (you deserve predictable love and care!!)
Good luck out there Honey Badgers, you got this!
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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