If you find yourself entirely awkward and wanting to go into your shell when there are big emotions around, you likely grew up with an anxious avoidant attachment style.
Which is the fancy research term to describe family relationships where parents don't know what to do with emotions, so dismiss them, ignore them, and avoid them, teaching you to do the same.
The good news is this condition is not permanent. IF you put in some work to learn how to tolerate your own feelings and develop a skill for being present and grounded when feelings are surrounding, you'll find that life outside of the shell can lead to some really beautiful connected moments.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}