I want my children to be socially capable. To have the skill sets for interacting with adult authorities, especially their teachers. BUT. I also want them to have the skill sets for recognizing when an adult is abusing their position of power.
This is why I don't teach them that respect equals compliance.
I teach them respect is paying attention. And that if a grown up is guiding you safely and respecting you back, then you continue to respect them.
But if an adult is being hurtful, or creepy, or crossing boundaries that make you uncomfortable, you can come tell me and I will know how respectful you have been, because you really have been paying attention, and you and I will make sure the problematic thing that's being done to you gets addressed.
Don't let anyone tell you that the only way to respect someone is to comply with their every will. Nope, that's not respect, that's abusive control.
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Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
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Engage with your teen by giving them airtime and genuine curiosity to share their perspectives, allowing them to feel heard and seen, which will make them respect you more and see you as an ally in their maturing process.
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Learn how to teach your kids the difference between insults and feedback, empowering them to take accountability for their actions and establish boundaries with bullies in this insightful video.
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