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The most powerful tool a parent has to influence their children, is their own nervous system.
When we ground ourselves and take responsibility over our own dysregulation we not only offer our children a model for calmness, we also make better parenting choices.
It's far more effective to be calm and receptive than to be angry and reactive.
And calming our bodies is infectious (just like we get infected by our children's upset bodies.)
It can feel like doing "nothing" in a world that values control so deeply, but watch what happens to your children and to your relationships with your children when you take the time to be grounded and compassionate, instead of reactive and directive.
Do it consistently (and I mean REALLY commit to trying it) and I promise you two weeks and you will have a very different influence and rhythm with your child.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
In this video, we explore why punishment may not be the best approach to parenting and how positive reinforcement can be a more effective and nurturing alternative