The most powerful tool a parent has to influence their children, is their own nervous system.
When we ground ourselves and take responsibility over our own dysregulation we not only offer our children a model for calmness, we also make better parenting choices.
It's far more effective to be calm and receptive than to be angry and reactive.
And calming our bodies is infectious (just like we get infected by our children's upset bodies.)
It can feel like doing "nothing" in a world that values control so deeply, but watch what happens to your children and to your relationships with your children when you take the time to be grounded and compassionate, instead of reactive and directive.
Do it consistently (and I mean REALLY commit to trying it) and I promise you two weeks and you will have a very different influence and rhythm with your child.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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In this video, learn how to better support your children's emotional regulation by prioritizing connection over correction.
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In this video, learn three practical tips for helping children learn honesty, including recognizing and managing your own anxiety, understanding that lying is normal and has a range of nuances, and creating an environment of empathy and understanding for messiness.
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