It's been a pattern in our culture for a long time to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts. And while there are differences in our hormones as a result of our sex chromosomes, those differences are not things that determine our ways of relating to each other.
Overgenitalization is a term I am coining to help us deal with this problem. Violence doesn't come from a person's under-bits, it comes from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
Nurture doesn't come from someone's reproductive body parts...it comes as a result of being nurtured or encouraged to nurture.
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In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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