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It's been a pattern in our culture for a long time to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts. And while there are differences in our hormones as a result of our sex chromosomes, those differences are not things that determine our ways of relating to each other.
Overgenitalization is a term I am coining to help us deal with this problem. Violence doesn't come from a person's under-bits, it comes from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
Nurture doesn't come from someone's reproductive body parts...it comes as a result of being nurtured or encouraged to nurture.
In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.