Contrary to the fables and myths of romance in our culture.. if someone says no or not now or I don't think so that doesn't mean try harder to get them to say yes....trying to motivate someone to be intimate is a product of the coercive mindset. A mindset that creates trauma for those on the receiving end.
If your sleeping beauty or Snow White is sleepy or asleep she doesn't need you to kiss her to wake her up she needs you to let her sleep so that she can feel functional during her day ..
If you can learn to resist the urge to pressure your partner for intimacy.. I promise the intimacy you will have together will be far far more meaningful and pleasurable for both of you.
True intimacy comes without anyone being convinced, guilted or pressured.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
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In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
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In this video, the speaker reflects on the challenges of supporting loved ones in addiction recovery and offers insights into why defensiveness and anger can be common responses.
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