If you offer empathy to someone in an angry state it will help them feel seen heard and connected to you. But if you offer that empathy to someone in an angry state who has abusive mentalities... It won't work.
Someone who relates to other people through power and control, or an abusive mindset, uses anger to justify intentionally hurting others.
Anger is a valid thing in all healthy relationships. But using your anger to justify harmful behavior is abusive and not ok.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
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Discover why natural consequences are great teachers for children, especially those with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD and Autism, and why guiding and teaching instead of punishing and preaching is a more effective approach to helping your child learn to listen to and trust their bodies, in this enlightening video on interoception and attachment.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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