Anger can be HARD. Especially when you are recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control or used to justify abuse.
But anger is a normal and necessary feeling. It tells us when we feel violated or flooded or desperate in some way. Our kids need our empathy when they are angry so they can understand what they need and learn to manage anger the same way they are learning to manage other emotions ---with support and understanding.
An angry child is not an abusive child, they're a child in need of support. If your body only reacts to anger in trauma responses seek care for your own childhood stories to help you body separate then from now. You and your children deserve that.
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Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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