Anger can be HARD. Especially when you are recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control or used to justify abuse.
But anger is a normal and necessary feeling. It tells us when we feel violated or flooded or desperate in some way. Our kids need our empathy when they are angry so they can understand what they need and learn to manage anger the same way they are learning to manage other emotions ---with support and understanding.
An angry child is not an abusive child, they're a child in need of support. If your body only reacts to anger in trauma responses seek care for your own childhood stories to help you body separate then from now. You and your children deserve that.
Learn how to give an effective apology by understanding the impact of your actions and making a sincere effort to repair the relationship, rather than simply saying "I'm sorry”
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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