Anger can be HARD. Especially when you are recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control or used to justify abuse.
But anger is a normal and necessary feeling. It tells us when we feel violated or flooded or desperate in some way. Our kids need our empathy when they are angry so they can understand what they need and learn to manage anger the same way they are learning to manage other emotions ---with support and understanding.
An angry child is not an abusive child, they're a child in need of support. If your body only reacts to anger in trauma responses seek care for your own childhood stories to help you body separate then from now. You and your children deserve that.
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In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
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