Anger is not dangerous, and it needs empathy and space in our relationships.
But it can be triggering. ESP if we have experienced rage or violence in our journey.
We often treat children feeling anger as if they are behaving badly, but the feeling of anger is a valid and important feeling.
We need to teach our kids (and ourselves) how to feel anger and trust anger and share anger safely.
And when a small child hits when angry, they aren't being violent. They still lack the language to communicate effectively. YES, teach them, intervene and be clear that we use our words to communicate, but instead of shaming them for their anger, help them uncover it and listen to it and learn to communicate the underlying need.
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Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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Learn how to motivate your children without resorting to harshness and punishment by turning up the volume on playfulness and engaging your child's whole brain in this insightful video.
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