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I am always looking for ways to help us parents grow our compassion and empathy for our children (and see how effective it is for managing behaviors through co-regulation).
Today at Denver International Airport I got another one. We had a 6.5 hour delay for a flight and there were hundreds of other Southwest flights that were cancelled entirely.
People were upset. Like for REAL. You could tell we were minutes from physical violence.
People had been there for DAYS.
But no punches were thrown because this one incredible gate attendant gently parented the crowds with such incredible honesty, empathy and patience that I actually cried. It was beautiful.
And people felt heard and seen and it calmed their nervous systems despite the fact that things were still massively disappointing.
The grownups needed understanding and empathy to regulate their nervous systems, imagine how much more overwhelming it is to children who don't even have a fully developed prefrontal cortex to work with.
Accepting a child's emotions (or an adult's emotions) is not permissive of dangerous behavior. It's soothing and helps prevent eruption of behavioral responses.
In this insightful video, you'll learn why your children aren't reflections of you, but rather a reflection of the things you haven't yet accepted about yourself, and discover helpful strategies for dealing with triggers related to your child's behavior.
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
In this video, learn why telling your child to "use their words" during an emotional moment may not be effective and how to communicate non-verbally to support them in regulating their emotions.