If you grow up in a home where dominance is valued, it can be very confusing to know how to react when your children are defying your wishes or agenda.
The key is to not getting sucked into the old instinct to grab for power. Kids aren't grabbing for dominance (unless that has been modeled), they are struggling to think clearly or over tired or over hungry or have a need they don't know how to express.
When defiance shows up, remember not to seek compliance, and instead to seek connection. Get curious about what they are needing and use a spirit of compassion to work with your child instead of against them.
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In this Q&A video, Alicia Malnati shares three tips to help your children love learning for the sake of learning, including setting challenging but attainable goals, emphasizing effort over innate ability, and praising specific tactics rather than traits.
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In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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