If you grow up in a home where dominance is valued, it can be very confusing to know how to react when your children are defying your wishes or agenda.
The key is to not getting sucked into the old instinct to grab for power. Kids aren't grabbing for dominance (unless that has been modeled), they are struggling to think clearly or over tired or over hungry or have a need they don't know how to express.
When defiance shows up, remember not to seek compliance, and instead to seek connection. Get curious about what they are needing and use a spirit of compassion to work with your child instead of against them.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to help your child process their emotions and build a deeper connection with them by following these three simple tips, which can help switch their neurochemistry from panic or despair to safety and connection.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}