I've been thinking about how hard it is when my clients and friends and family work towards sobriety or decreasing use of a substance.
It awful. Even though it is the path to greater health and stability and connection in relationships etc.
It's hard.
And I believe that is one of the underlying reasons that folks in the throes of addiction get so defensive and angry when we acknowledge with them our true levels of concern.
(Yes some folks with addictions also have relationally abusive mentalities and that drives the response too).
But most of the folks I know who have battled the addiction beast and come out the other end are kind hearted people who had a nightmare to walk thru before they could feel peace and be their true underlying sober self.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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Learn how to support your child when they feel jealous with these 3 essential steps - empathize, regulate, and guide - to help them understand and cope with this normal and complex emotion, in this insightful video.
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In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
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