One of the greatest challenges a couple goes thru in their attachment is the immense constant work that comes with having children.
I have been lucky enough to share a partnership where we both work some and both stay at home with the kids some. This has allowed us a deep understanding of what it feels like on each side.
But many of my clients have not had this privilege and have gotten stuck in some dangerous failures of understanding, especially around the idea that one partner "works" and the other "stays home".
Both people are working. Childcare is WORK.
Today I encourage everyone to reflect on the reality a partner laboring to care for children endures everyday, without being paid a single penny for their gargantuan efforts.
(Next message will be on behalf of the person who works outside of the home)
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In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
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In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
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In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
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