With all of the various forms of parenting advice out there it can be overwhelming to know what you're supposed to do in tricky moments.
Here is a breakdown of 4 different parenting mindsets to help you identify choices based on your actual parenting goals.
1. Power and control mindset "my job is to teach you to submit"
2. Behavioral mindset "my job is to teach you how to act"
3. Permissive mindset "my job is to make you feel comfortable"
4. Attachment mindset "my job is to be a secure base and a safe haven for you to use as I guide you as you grow and learn about the world"
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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Join us as we explore the importance of teaching children to say 'no' and how we can empower them to use this skill effectively in various scenarios.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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