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The myth of parental control is so prevalent in our culture and our mindsets it is a hard one to shake.
I struggle with its presence in my own mind daily.
But I know it's a myth. We are not in control of our children and if we relate through power and control, we do great harm to our children and our relationship with them.
But we are in control of how we respond to our children.
When we take our focus off controlling their behavior and onto how we respond with our behavior we can offer a far more secure attachment relationship for our children as they grow and mature into people who have greater neurological capacity for self control.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
In this video, learn how understanding and addressing the underlying needs behind a child's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment and empowering parent-child relationship.
In this video, learn three practical tips for helping children learn honesty, including recognizing and managing your own anxiety, understanding that lying is normal and has a range of nuances, and creating an environment of empathy and understanding for messiness.