1.

Why We Feel Contempt towards our Partners When We Mess Up

No items found.

There are very few things quite as painful as being deep in contempt with the people you love. This insecure conflict pattern has a surprising root though that gives us a clear path forward for addressing the issue ... All contempt grows out of shame.

When we fear that we are bad (shame), our brains flip the narrative onto whoever we are upset with or feel threatened by, they become bad (contempt).

When you feel deep contempt with your partner or other attachment figures, ask yourself, "what shame am I afraid to address here?".

Then bring that shame as vulnerability to your partner so that you can work through your rupture with safe open communication and compassion.

This is some text inside of a div block.
No items found.

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Anger Does Not Cause Violence
01:29

In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.

View
Anger Needs Empathy to Become Managed
01:22

In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.

View
Be Wary of a Coercive Mindset in Your Relationship
01:24

In this video, the speaker debunks myths of romance and emphasizes the importance of respecting boundaries and avoiding coercion in relationships for genuine intimacy to flourish.

View