There are very few things quite as painful as being deep in contempt with the people you love. This insecure conflict pattern has a surprising root though that gives us a clear path forward for addressing the issue ... All contempt grows out of shame.
When we fear that we are bad (shame), our brains flip the narrative onto whoever we are upset with or feel threatened by, they become bad (contempt).
When you feel deep contempt with your partner or other attachment figures, ask yourself, "what shame am I afraid to address here?".
Then bring that shame as vulnerability to your partner so that you can work through your rupture with safe open communication and compassion.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
Learn how to give an effective apology by understanding the impact of your actions and making a sincere effort to repair the relationship, rather than simply saying "I'm sorry”
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn about the two sources that drive the desire to always be around people, natural extraversion and trauma response, and how recognizing the latter can help you find rest in solitude and process past relationships in this insightful video.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}