When we see our children in emotional pain we want to help. And we often see the lesson that would have prevented the pain.
Teaching them these things is good.
But timing the teaching is key.
Only after they are past the emotional flooding will they be able to fully hear us and integrate that information.
Regulate your body and offer calming compassion and when you see their body take a shuddery release breath, give it a few more minutes....then talk about the idea or insight you think will help.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
Discover which of the 4 attachment styles, represented by different animals, resonates with you the most when dealing with emotional distress in this thought-provoking video.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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