Because we identify with our attachment loves (kids, spouses, parents, best friends etc) we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves.
If you find it easier to be kind and generous with strangers or acquaintances, it is likely about your own lack of self compassion, not something with your loves.
Try being more gentle with yourself and watch what happens with your instincts towards the people who matter most.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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In this video, you'll learn that when facing defiance from children, it's important to avoid grabbing for power and instead seek connection, getting curious about their needs and working with a spirit of compassion to help them, rather than against them.
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Learn how contempt in relationships often stems from shame and how to address the root cause of contempt by addressing the underlying shame through vulnerability and open communication with your partner or attachment figures in this insightful and practical video.
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