Thank goodness that the attachment research is clear that our children do not need us to be perfect, or constantly attentive, or winning the parent of the year award. (Who can up with that idea anyway???)
They need us to be connection focused and capable of repairing when we get off the tracks.
Instead of laboring anxiously to be a good parent, secure attachment is formed from a parent's dedication to being a consistently responsive parent (specifically in times where our children are tender or in emotional distress).
Focus on the relationship between you and your littles and listening to their needs, soothing them when they are in pain, and delighting in them when you have the chance.
No need to beat yourself up for being grumpy sometimes or having a million distractions or not having their lunches cut into the shapes of their favorite cartoon characters.
You're not a bad parent. You're a person who is parenting in a complex world. And our instinct to bond to each other is strong and will weather many storms if we stay dedicated to returning to connection and care.
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Discover how to differentiate between the instinct to recharge and the instinct to isolate in pain, and learn how to honor your introversion while also healing the wounds beneath an avoidant attachment response in this insightful video.
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In this video, the speaker discusses how children experience grief differently than adults, and how their feelings of loss and powerlessness may manifest through tantrums, whining, or anger, emphasizing the importance of reaching out to support children during times of transition and change.
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Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.
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