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Hovering over our kids trying to protect them, isn't the best form of protection. Our kids are going to face pain but they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as refuge and shelter. If we try to constantly shelter them they feel suffocated and want to flee our hovering.
The best protection is connection.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn how to shift the vibe of your home environment and improve your connection with your children by finding ways to say "yes" instead of always resorting to "no" in this insightful video on parental co-regulation and relational reactivity.
In this video, learn why it's important for parents who grew up with trauma or without secure attachment to be mindful of not overcorrecting their kids, and how to give themselves space to process their past pains so they can accurately meet their child's needs.