When small children hit, push, bite, scratch, kick, or punch, they are not doing it to harm or violate another child. They are doing it because they lack impulse control and their stress response makes it hard for them to verbally express themselves in moments of big emotion.
They REACT because they are still learning how to process and ACT in ways that are socially effective.
Which is why it is so important that we don't harshly REACT in response, and instead ACT in ways that model the type of calm and thoughtful responses we want our children to learn in stressful moments.
Guide: don't tan their hide.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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In this video, learn how to better support your children's emotional regulation by prioritizing connection over correction.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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