When small children hit, push, bite, scratch, kick, or punch, they are not doing it to harm or violate another child. They are doing it because they lack impulse control and their stress response makes it hard for them to verbally express themselves in moments of big emotion.
They REACT because they are still learning how to process and ACT in ways that are socially effective.
Which is why it is so important that we don't harshly REACT in response, and instead ACT in ways that model the type of calm and thoughtful responses we want our children to learn in stressful moments.
Guide: don't tan their hide.
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In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
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