It is developmentally normal for small children to struggle with impulse control and to hit, pinch, push, grab etc.
But the experience of being hit, pinched, pushed, grab etc is painful at any stage of development.
When another child is doing these things to your child is can be incredibly triggering and hard to navigate (esp if the other parent is not intervening and is a friend or acquaintance).
Remember that these are moments to teach your children 2 things:
1. Body ownership and permission to set boundaries with people who hurt them
2. That you care about their pain and will calmly but firmly protect them from people that are using hurtful hands or words
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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This video offers insightful perspective and tools for healing from inherited attachment wounds, acknowledging the realities of our caregivers' patterns while breaking the cycle for future generations
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