One of the reasons we have such rampant violence towards women in this culture is the sneaky confusion between someone wanting to respectfully connect with us vs someone wanting ownership over our bodies.
The phrase "getting hit on" should disturb everyone, yet it gets used as a positive idea. This confuses women into thinking we should like and accept it when someone is sexually harassing us without care for our feelings or lack of equal enthusiasm.
Hitting and loving should never be equated. Ever.
Teaching our children (esp our daughters) to be suspicious of people who are aggressive about their interest in our bodies is integral in teaching our kids to know the difference between safe and unsafe potential romantic partners.
Safe people are gentle with their desire and make space for our reactions. They also stop when they sense we are hesitant, or not interested.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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Teach your kids to ask, "Is this okay?" and look for a clear and enthusiastic yes, even if someone seems reserved or quiet, to ensure that all affection is confirmed and enthusiastic.
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Join the fight against toxic beauty standards and body shaming, especially towards women and girls of color, by watching this inspiring video on how we can do better with the next generation of girls, by focusing on how they feel, what they think and say, and raising them to believe that their body belongs to them and their comments and critique is the problem, not their appearance.
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