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Three tips for navigating the tricky moments and conversations that happen in every relationship....
1. You can acknowledge the tension and dynamics before you are ready to solve them...sometimes just acknowledging disconnection relieves the bigness of it.
2. Communicate your confidence in your relationship and your ability to figure it out when the time is right. "This is hard but I believe in us and know we will figure it out together".
3. Take a copious amount of time to actively listen to the other person's perspective and needs. Do this with an open heart and body state. You don't have to agree to truly hear someone.
Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!