We are not in control of the relationships between our children and their siblings, but we are in control of how we communicate about those relationships and whether or not our stuff gets in the way of them. Like so many other things in parenting the key to helping our children build healthy dynamics with each other is in our ability to be present, calm, accepting of all the emotions and to use connection tools to model and teach socially effective ways of relating. Not all siblings are destined to be bff's, BUT if we offer a secure environment, no siblings have to be at great odds with one another. Yes, there will be seasons of discord and moments of conflict, but if we can contain our own anxiety about those times, it leaves our kids free to figure out their relationships without pressure or burden from us.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
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In this video, learn three practical tips for helping children learn honesty, including recognizing and managing your own anxiety, understanding that lying is normal and has a range of nuances, and creating an environment of empathy and understanding for messiness.
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