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Human beings are wired to co-regulate. Which means that closeness to other people when we are in distress helps our nervous systems to calm and reset.
The words "come here" or "I am here" when used with gentleness and compassion are deeply soothing and can help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
This video offers guidance on how parents can help their kids learn about conflict resolution through setting boundaries and offering compassion towards both parties, emphasizing the importance of safety and boundaries, effective communication, and moving to repair in conflict situations.