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Your kids are not reflections of you, but they sure will reflect back to you the things you haven't yet accepted about yourself.
If you find yourself deeply triggered about something about your kid, walk it back in your own story and ask yourself how did people respond to me in this similar part of my life? Or was I ever allowed to be this way? What would have been helpful for me to hear or feel from an adult in a moment like this?
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, you'll discover how to respond to your children's disrespectful behavior with compassion and set healthy boundaries while modeling respectful communication.
The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.