Natural consequences are great teachers. IF our children have learned to be cued into their bodies signals. (A challenge that takes more time and effort for neurodivergent children with ADHD and Autism in particular).
The skill of interoception is an attachment related skill.
Children learn to make good choices for their bodies by learning to listen to the signals inside of their bodies.
When we punish a child or create more consequences to get them to do something we know is good for them, we are placing their attention away from their bodies, thus delaying the skill and not encouraging it.
Yes, this means being patient and attentive to our children in a world that is very task focused. But is there any other task more important than the task of teaching our children how to listen to and trust their bodies?
Guide and teach instead of punishing and preaching. Your child will feel safe with you and you'll feel less stressed too.
(Also p.s. I don't do this 100 percent of the time. Sometimes I am cranky and grouchy and tired. But I do try to do this most of the time and when I do, it's far more effective)
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Learn the benefits of playing make believe with your kids, how it helps their brains and your bond with them, and get fun ideas for make believe scenarios to try, including playing wild animals on the way to lunch and defending a castle against stinky underwear, in this insightful video.
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Discover how to avoid power struggles and teach your toddler to attune to their bodies by using a natural consequence when they won't put on their coat on a cold day in this helpful video that emphasizes the importance of letting them feel the cold and learn from the experience, and seeking an evaluation with a psychologist if they struggle with interoception due to neurodivergent wiring such as autism or ADHD.
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Learn why teasing your children for struggling can be emotionally abusive and detrimental to your relationship, and how to do better as a parent by owning up to your mistakes and treating your kids with the kindness and respect they deserve.
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