Harsh punishment and power and control tactics like yelling, punishing, and shaming can create behavioral changes in children. They become compliant But WHY?
Because they are scared of the punisher.
They "work" because they trigger a dissociative shutdown and make a child unsafe enough to feel powerless and therefore to freeze or cease actions.
And what else do harsh punishments do to children?
They teach children that relationships are about power and control and to relate thru abusive patterns. Which leads to adults who are either 1. Repeating the cycle of power and control or 2. Have deep self worth wounds...both requiring lots of time and work to heal and change.
Instead of trying to control your child's behavior, work on keeping your own need for control in check. Be compassionate with them and with you.
Yes, set limits, but set them lovingly and without creating fear for them.
Discover the three key things you need to do to help your children develop resilience and become strong, confident adults in this insightful video.
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Discover the truth about toughness culture and generational trauma as we explore how acknowledging pain and learning to feel it can be the first step towards healing in this eye-opening video.
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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