The way we make meaning about our children's behavior is a huge component of whether or not they will have a secure attachment experience with us.
When we help our children see the needs beneath their behavior we give them the opportunity to learn how to articulate their needs instead of acting them out.
It is not enabling a child to help them see the dignified need beneath a problematic behavior. It is empowering them. This is the crux of a secure parent child dynamic.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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Learn how to teach your kids the difference between insults and feedback, empowering them to take accountability for their actions and establish boundaries with bullies in this insightful video.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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