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Intention and impact are two different things.
You can tell someone about how their actions or inactions impacted you, but the authority over what their intentions were belongs to them.
If you don't trust their explanation of their intentions, it might be time to move on to someone you do trust. Or evaluate when you learned to always be skeptical of people's intentions towards you and separate that trauma from the present security.
Learn how contempt in relationships often stems from shame and how to address the root cause of contempt by addressing the underlying shame through vulnerability and open communication with your partner or attachment figures in this insightful and practical video.
In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.