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Reminder that if we want our kids to be secure, well-regulated and resilient, we aren't trying to teach them to need nothing from anyone (independence ), we are trying to teach them how to effectively live in community and how to have close attachment relationships (interdependence).
Human beings thrive when we are in positive supportive, mutual relationships.
If your kids need your help (especially in big emotional moments), you are not creating dependence when you support them, you are creating trust.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
Learn how to teach your kids the difference between insults and feedback, empowering them to take accountability for their actions and establish boundaries with bullies in this insightful video.
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.