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One of the most important ingredients for a secure attachment with our children is our capacity to attune to their inner world.
And one specific area they need us to attune to is whether or not the love we are giving them is coming thru the way we intend it to.
By occasionally (please not every minute of every day!!!) checking in with our kids about what they are needing to feel our love, we can get in sync with them so that the love we are putting out is getting all the way in.
This is especially important during developmental leaps. When our kids grow into new stages they can grow out of our old patterns of affection and need us to acclimate to their current preferences and needs.
When we show our kids we care more about our impact on them than defending our intentions we cultivate some incredible trust.
Affection Check In for the win!
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
In this heartwarming video, learn the power of "I adore you" and "I am sorry" in building secure attachment and initiating repair in relationships.
In this video, learn how to properly respond when your child falls or gets hurt, by tuning into their reaction and responding accordingly without overreacting or dismissing their feelings.