One of the most important ingredients for a secure attachment with our children is our capacity to attune to their inner world.
And one specific area they need us to attune to is whether or not the love we are giving them is coming thru the way we intend it to.
By occasionally (please not every minute of every day!!!) checking in with our kids about what they are needing to feel our love, we can get in sync with them so that the love we are putting out is getting all the way in.
This is especially important during developmental leaps. When our kids grow into new stages they can grow out of our old patterns of affection and need us to acclimate to their current preferences and needs.
When we show our kids we care more about our impact on them than defending our intentions we cultivate some incredible trust.
Affection Check In for the win!
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
.webp){kind=avatar}
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}