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One of the most important skills we give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship when something they have done (or not done) effects someone else.
Like most other things, they learn this primarily by watching what you model.
Kids need to see adults apologize and take ownership of the impact of their actions with these two important elements:
1. The absence of shame. If we enter shame when we apologize we take away the focus on the other person's pain or upset.
2. The presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
Good luck out there parents! If you're anything like me there are MANY opportunities every day to model apologizing ..š
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Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
In this video, you'll learn that human beings are wired to co-regulate, and that words like "come here" or "I am here" used with gentleness and compassion can be deeply soothing and help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.